We'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go home
Your best is an idiot! Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that's why I'm transferring to business school! Large bet on myself in round one.
So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
I don't 'need' to drink. I can quit anytime I want!
Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans! Shinier than yours, meatbag. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
- Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
- No, I'm Santa Claus!
- Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Say it in Russian!
As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead. No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires! Ummm…to eBay? Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family. You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
- Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.
- Pansy.
- Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! Also, we're dying!
You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie! So, how 'bout them Knicks? Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you. I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians.
That could be 'my' beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie! No, she'll probably make me do it.
How much did you make me? I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe! There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Bender, we're trying our best.
What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. Alright, I'll get you some stupid food. You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! Ow, my spirit! And when we woke up, we had these bodies.
Oh, you're a dollar naughtier than most. The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. I never loved you. Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.
For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your 'first' wife was the one who liked lilacs! This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!
And why did 'I' have to take a cab? Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer. Ow, my spirit! Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that's why I'm transferring to business school! I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love! My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.
We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral! Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree. I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!
And from now on you're all named Bender Jr. What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! 'It is!' My precious torso! These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I'll rest easier not knowing where they are.